I want to run away, to a place far far away from that place I once called home. That house I live in, is no longer my home. At least, it doesn’t feel like one. I wish the doctors or nurses made a mistake. Tell me my mum’s not my mum. And that I belong to someone else’s. I just can’t stand a day living in this place anymore.
She threatened that she would throw away my dinner, if I were to take any afternoon naps and miss dinner time. I was having a bad headache then, thus that nap. I cried myself to sleep that night. I wish my mum could be more understanding.
She said that I’m wasting the electricity when Dad commented that I slept at 2 am one night. I was working on my assignments. I wish she cared more about how much sleep I lack, rather than the electricity bill.
And when sister sleeps for the entire day, she said that sister needed that nap badly, that it’s not easy juggling between work and school. Thing is, no one asked her to work and study. Sister wouldn’t be juggling, if she cares less about money. And when I’m the one sleeping, it’s because I’m lazy. Fine.
Sister commented that the home PC was down. She called for the technician, almost immediately. And commented that I am being such a selfish ass for not calling the technician to repair it, so that her dear daughter (my sister) could use. Thing is, I’m really busy with school and doesn’t feel like entertaining anyone, let alone the technician. Sister cursed that my dear laptop would break down and mentioned that she wouldn’t let me use the home PC if that day ever comes. She chose to let sister have her way. Thing is I paid quite a fair bit for that home PC (close to 90%) with the money I earned back then. Who is she to disallow me from using it?
Told mum that I would like to have a new study desk since her favourite daughter (my sister) would be taking my computer desk when the home PC get fixed. Learnt from my younger sister that mum’s angry because of my request. It’s because of money, again. All I wanted is just a new desk, so that at least it motivates me to study. I don’t even mind paying with my own money. But she’s not in favour of that little request of mine. Fine. No new desk, so be it.
It’s not the first rejection anyway. I’m not sure how long I can endure. I can’t believe that I actually have to bear with this along with the intensive stress from school all by myself. Mum, I’m sick and tired of giving in to sister. Tell me, am I your daughter too?
Birthdays used to be such a special day when I was a kid. Pampered with presents, greetings and endless love. That was birthday in the eyes of a little child. It used to be the day I realised that I have a lot of friends (by counting the number of presents). It touches me that someone actually bothers to shop around looking for the perfect gift for their dear old friend. It’s not the value of the gift, rather the thoughts and effort that were put in.
Woke up this morning, turned on my phone, expected some birthday greetings. It used to be one after another, at least that was what happened for the past few years. However, to my dismay, I received none.
Disappointed? Yes. Sad? Not really.
After all, I don’t quite remember that today’s my Birthday either. And looking on the brighter side, I did receive some early birthday greetings. And not forgetting the lovely birthday wishes on my previous entry. :) That aside, today’s Forgotten-Shadows’ 2nd Birthday!
Forgotten-Shadows had been my pride and joy for the past two years, and would still continue to be! I know it’s just a unknown little blog on the World Wide Web. Nevertheless, that’s enough. It’s the existence of this little place that makes me feel that I have something, when I’m left with nothing. It’s the nice people who often dropped by this hidden place that makes me realise that someone cares about me. It’s you guys who keep Forgotten-Shadows going.
Heartfelt thanks to those who had watched Forgotten-Shadows grow. I’m hoping that you guys would still be here in celebration of Forgotten-Shadows’ 3rd Birthday. Many thanks for the helpful advices that were left when I’m in a dilemma. Many thanks for the endless support you guys gave when I was falling. And not forgetting the heartiest congratulations I received when I achieved something.
I’ve got nothing for you guys. Just a word of thanks. Thanks for being such a wonderful bunch of friends. *hugs* And just in case you guys are interested to know how I would be spending my Birthday, studying is the answer. Hopefully with the Birthday luck I have, Science wouldn’t be such a chore. :)
Edit: Apparently, the birthday greetings started rolling in since noon! *smiles*