I think I’ll most probably visit the gynecologist if the problem still persists.

Sometimes, I just don’t wish to be a girl. Well, the grass is always greener on the other side, no?

Well, wish me luck. I mean, best of health. I got a really bad feeling that something is really not right this time round, and I don’t want it to be true.

Everything will be fine, Huimei. Everything will be fine.

Argh. I have been having indigestion and ear infection since the day my examinations ended. Well, I don’t need them to keep me entertained, really.

I should have learnt never to swallow my food without biting them thoroughly. It’s already more than a week and I’m still not feeling really well.

As for ear infection, there’s nothing much I could do I guess. Ear drainages irk me. Now, my ear just aches a lot. Grr.

Annoying indigestion and ear infection, go away! :(

You know that you are really bored when you buy a new toy just so that you will have something to do.

Bought a Rubik’s Cube today. Hopefully it will keep me occupied for the next few days.

It feels funny to see yourself being mentioned on a friend’s blog, a friend that you haven’t been talking to for more than 2 years.

“There was someone in my class who alienate herself. She was the best in class, everytime my group of friends will play Lan and play pool, she will be heading to some lab class to study. In the end, she had the best results…”

No names mentioned, but that girl was obviously me. Gahh, I didn’t know that everyone thought I was studying when I headed off to the labs. I was actually surfing the web, reading blogs, anything but studying. Hah!

Those were the days. I kind of miss the guys actually. It’s kind of sad to see that out of all whom I’m in contact with during the polytechnic days, none are from my class. *shrugs*

Those countless unmindful criticisms almost sent my world crashing down. Still, I kept that smile on my face. I kept my cool. But deep down, my heart was bleeding profusely. I thought I could stand any criticisms. I thought I could. Well, apparently not.

You don’t have to know me very well to actually realise that I love to draw. But one thing that many does not know is that, drawing is actually my escapism from reality; the first thing that I would ever do when I’m feeling terribly down. Well, next to crying and sulking that is.

I did three mural designs for the home, two of which I was terribly proud of. Imagine, working so hard on the murals, just to get your mural design being mocked fun at. How nice.

Thanks for mocking fun at my mural design. Perhaps I shouldn’t have took up that position and let you take it up instead. To think that you are one of my closer friend. I think I must be blind or something.

Either way, thanks for making me realise that I made the right choice for not taking any design-related course. You know, I did receive lots of constructive criticisms all these years. And I do appreciate them. They are good and helped me improve on my drawing.

But, this is the very very first time that anyone had mocked fun of my drawings. And to make matter worse, to mock fun of the drawing that I am kind of proud of.

Well, I know we can’t live up to everyone’s expectations. But sometimes, these unmindful remarks never fail to send a deep stab to my heart. I think it’s only human nature to be bothered about what others say about you. *shrugs*

Special thanks to Huimin for stopping the rest when they joined in to mock fun at it. Now I see who my true friend really is. Thanks girl! I’m really grateful for what you did. :)

I just feel that it’s terribly bad to throw any unmindful criticisms on something that one really likes to do. It may be the only thing that one thought that he/she is capable of. Well, even if there’s a need for one, make a constructive feedback, will you?

I know I have no rights to whine, we are all guilty of that. It’s just how deep that wound is, how hurtful that criticism is.

Some few weeks ago, I threw a hurtful remark to a friend when he was trying to knock some sense into me. I actually told him to just shut up. I could imagine his pain. Well, I haven’t apologised to him till date despite feeling terribly bad about it. Sometimes, sorry just doesn’t help anymore.

Well, I guess what goes around, comes around. I got the taste of my own medicine. *shrugs*

The next time if you ever want to leave any unmindful criticism, please think twice. To me, it’s terribly inhuman. I’ll keep that in mind too.

I was crying while writing an entry on some thoughts I had bottled deep down.

I am supposed to be still crying.

But..

I ended up consoling a friend instead.

The ironies of life.