2008; the year started off really well but eventually I shunned off people close to me because I feel like a big big burden, really. I just don’t feel like talking anymore. It’s much of an emotional struggle. It’s really painful to start building layers to walls all over again.
And, I regretted doing so. But it seems like things can never go back to the past, ever. Still, I’m praying hard for that day, for things to pick up slowly but eventually.
I wasn’t in the best of health since June this year, getting better, but still I get the dizzy spells once in a while. Blood pressure was on the low side, ear infection was really getting on my nerves back then.
Everything’s much better now. I still get the random headaches, lightheadedness, ear drainage. But it’s much lesser now. My hearing got so bad during the beginning of the semester that I gave almost everyone a cold shoulder. It was really a pain to speak, because my ear seems blocked most of the time.
And know what, I experienced that again last week, but it didn’t last long. Adding on, I had been sleeping a lot due to the random headaches. Hopefully they will all be gone, together with all the bad things in 2008.
April was my only happiest month this year. The months after April were just so terrible that I wish I could start things all over again, just so that I could make some little amendments to make things better. I lost a really good friend in the process of keeping everything to myself. Well, not exactly lost, just not that close anymore.
And, I know the only thing I want in 2009 is that to get that friend back. I know I have to.
Happy 2009 everyone. 5 more days! :)
I rather be alone and lonely, than to be in the company of friends and still, feeling lonely. It hurts a lot.
Does the number of friends decreases as one grows older? Well, it seems so. At least to me.
I wish I could turn back time. :(