I like the clear blue sky tonight, along with the twinkling stars. Not much, but just enough to cheer me up a little. :)

The first time I saw the sky flooded with blinking stars was some seven years ago, at a campsite. I remembered that it was Kim’s and Doreen’s idea to lay the sleeping bags outside of our canvas tent; just to gaze at the stars.

I never felt that it was a great idea, but now I do.

Honestly, I miss the good old camping days. The making of identifiers, tent pitching, gadgets making, outdoor cooking, six sinful meals a day, singing of songs, and even the group cheers which I used to dislike a lot.

That camp, seven years ago, was the best camp I ever had; I learnt a lot. I hope my teammates are doing fine now.

Hmm, I think I’m starting to like staying back late in the office, just so that I could catch a glimpse of the beautiful night view. :)

I haven’t cried since the day I had my LASIK surgery done. Well, that’s more than four months! Considering that I used to cry a lot, that’s certainly a record. But.. I broke that record today.

I just can take it no more.

It’s bothering me far too much.

You know, it scares me whenever I’m with a big group of friends, in a really noisy place. I get really stressed easily.

The reason?

I can’t hear more than half of the things anyone says, even if you are just next to me.

And, it bothers me a lot. Because I wouldn’t know what to reply.

During the Company’s Lunar New Year brunch last week, I was trying hard to avoid eye contact with anyone at my table because I don’t want to start any conversation. Well, I succeeded. But, I felt really bad and sad.

Today, I met up with yet another big group of friends for steamboat dinner. The place was a million times noisier than last Friday’s. Okay, I exaggerated, but it was that bad. I have a really hard time trying to listen.

KM was being really nice by talking to me for the whole evening. I know he doesn’t want me to feel that I’m being left out. I totally appreciate that! But he ended up having to repeat himself a lot of times. And the worst part was that, I still couldn’t catch his words!

I either nod and smile, or gave him a blur look. I don’t like to make people repeat their words for far too many times. But nodding and smiling, without comprehending what the other person was saying is equally bad.

You know, I feel that I’ve lost quite a number of friends because of the nodding and smiling attitude when they talk to me. It’s really rude! And it makes the latter feel that I’m uninterested or totally can’t be bothered to talk to him/ her.

*sigh*

Sometimes, I wish I could wear a sign that says: I’m hearing impaired.

I wish to scream badly.

I’m hoping that I’ll feel much better after a night of rest.

Good night, people.